december 2003:
while dating someone... someone whom i truly thought i would marry... just a week before Christmas... she tells me that she doesn't have feelings for me. that she was simply filling a void in her life. my heart was broken in a way that it never had before. a few weeks later this blog was born as a way to cope with the hurt.

december 2004:
not dating anyone. but i had recently acknowledged feelings for someone. she had long ago recognized her feelings for me. while decorating my Christmas tree i she called and mentioned a friend. as i asked more questions about this friend she informed me that she was confident that she was going to marry him. my heart didn't break that time, but no rejection can ever feel good.

december 2005:
today. not dating anyone. but in the process of falling in love. and her with me. both wanting nothing more than to be together. but because of circumstances beyond anyone's control, save the Lord's, she decides that we can never be together. in the process i say something stupid and hurtful, that i didn't even mean. and she was gone. i don't know if i'll ever get to talk to her again. i don't know if it will ever be made right. but i know that when two people are developing strong feelings for each other... and the relationship is ended... thats a broken heart... shattered into more pieces than any i've ever experienced before.

Lord, i hate december.